Coworkers...

So everyday that I work in an office setting I shake my head over the candor and behavior of some... I have this coworker that sits next to me who feels the need to inform me when he has to go to the bathroom... I have no idea why but to quote him....

"I need to urinate."
"I need to pee."
"I need to hit the head."
"I need to make potty." yes he says this....
"I just lost 5 lbs." guess what that means...?
"I just defiled the bathroom."
"Don't go in the bathroom for awhile."
"That Taco Bell is about to exit my body."

I think I'm going to write a book one day on Office life. So what do your coworkers do that makes you shake your head?

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Originally Posted by T-Bird76

So everyday that I work in an office setting I shake my head over the candor and behavior of some... I have this coworker that sits next to me who feels the need to inform me when he has to go to the bathroom... I have no idea why but to quote him....

"I need to urinate."
"I need to pee."
"I need to hit the head."
"I need to make potty." yes he says this....
"I just lost 5 lbs." guess what that means...?
"I just defiled the bathroom."
"Don't go in the bathroom for awhile."
"That Taco Bell is about to exit my body."

I think I'm going to write a book one day on Office life. So what do your coworkers do that makes you shake your head?

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Do you work with Phil?http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v7...s/6c7ad768.gif

I just had to check the cube next to me to make sure you weren't there, Tommy. I say those phrases all day long.

I just hate it when coworkers cook **** that stinks of the whole office. I intentionally avoid certain foods for that purpose. Basic consideration.

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Originally Posted by Phil D.

I just hate it when coworkers cook **** that stinks of the whole office.

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Or microwave **** that explodes and then don't clean up the mess...

People should NEVER bring fish to nuke in the company microwave. UGH!

As for things overheard...
"xxxx just dropped heat in the mens room"
"Dont go in there, I think I started the paint peeling"
"Yeah, that chili was good, but it doesn't stay with you long"

Man, the things I miss being out of work :wink:

Back at Newsday, when someone would make one of those announcements about going to the rest room, I would usually grab the phone and say "I'll call Editorial, and have them hold the front page!"

Standing at the urinal in the men's room, a co-worker lines up to the next stall to do his bidness, turns to me and says, "Nice watch." I was never closer to pistol whipping someone in my life. I need new friends.

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Originally Posted by moose135

Man, the things I miss being out of work :wink:

Back at Newsday, when someone would make one of those announcements about going to the rest room, I would usually grab the phone and say "I'll call Editorial, and have them hold the front page!"

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sounds familiar, in fact we do so in our office too. our escapades aren't nearly as vial as those listed here. they tend to lean towards attacking the lower links in the food chain.

if it wasen't for some of the idiots we work with work wouldn't be fun.

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Originally Posted by Midnight Mike

Do you work with Phil?http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v7...s/6c7ad768.gif

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We were typing that at the same time! haha

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Originally Posted by wunaladreamin

Standing at the urinal in the men's room, a co-worker lines up to the next stall to do his bidness, turns to me and says, "Nice watch." I was never closer to pistol whipping someone in my life. I need new friends.

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Hopefully, not with your other pistol, wouldn't want that watch to get wet! :wink: :D

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Originally Posted by Midnight Mike

Hopefully, not with your other pistol, wouldn't want that watch to get wet! :wink: :D

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Hey, if it was that big I wouldn't be in civil service...iffin you know what I mean.

[quote=Phil D.]

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Originally Posted by "Midnight Mike":b286d

Do you work with Phil?http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v7...s/6c7ad768.gif

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We were typing that at the same time! haha[/quote:b286d]

Well, you know that they say about sick minds! As soon as I read the Tommy post, I thought to myself, you know, that sounds like something Phil would do!!! :mrgreen:

I can imagine I just annoyed half of the quiet office sitting around me cracking up reading this thread :borat:

There's a guy that sits in a cubicle on the other side of the hall that has an extremely annoying voice. And guess what he does all day...he spends it on the phone! Every couple of minutes I hear "Hi this is ABCD from XYZ Company and I'm calling to " blah blah blah STFU!!!

Flashback to office space: "Corporate Accounts Payable, Nina Speaking. Just a moment..." X 10

Guess my office isn't quite as fun as yours Phil & Tommy...lol

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Originally Posted by kc2aqg

I can imagine I just annoyed half of the quiet office sitting around me cracking up reading this thread :borat:

There's a guy that sits in a cubicle on the other side of the hall that has an extremely annoying voice. And guess what he does all day...he spends it on the phone! Every couple of minutes I hear "Hi this is ABCD from XYZ Company and I'm calling to " blah blah blah STFU!!!

Flashback to office space: "Corporate Accounts Payable, Nina Speaking. Just a moment..." X 10

Guess my office isn't quite as fun as yours Phil & Tommy...lol

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Well Andy comone....your office is filled with a bunch of Auditors....I've never known an auditor to be fun, LOLOLOL ;) The Director of Audit here has a few names....Dragon woman, The Bitch, Ice Queen, and some I can't mention.. hehe.

So one day at work, I'm in the men's room, and some big guy comes up to the urinal next to me. I'm talking Louie Anderson big. Never saw the guy before around the building.

Out of nowhere, he says to me "I haven't been able to see my thing in years." Not knowing just how to respond, I said "Why don't you diet?"
He gave me a worried look and asked "Why, what color is is now?" :shock:

LOL Tommy hit the nail on the head. Auditors are no fun...

Wow Moose, that's just shocking, but you came up with a great response!

Phil is an office Bully.......Sorry I had to Out you Phil!