You know you work at the airport too much when....

I was bored. Sorry.

You know you work at the airport too much when...


...you're driving down the street and you pull over to pick up a can in the road. Not becuase it's litter, but becuase it's FOD.

...you find yourself subconciously avoiding driving behind large trucks because you fear its jet thrust.

...instead of telling your kid "Stay right there, you, in all seriousness, say "Position and hold, Timmy!"

...you chock your car when parking and shut off your headlights at red lights.

...you show up late to a family function and feel the urge to somehow blame Swissport.

...you fly so much that the loadmaster includes your weight in the FAK.

...you refer to one night stands as RONs.

...you take a trip to Thailand to pick up UMs.

...you are sent home from Thailand as a depu.

More to come later.

cant' wait

You MEL your car
You say a car is on your six when your getting tailgated
You drive headdings
You never show up you "arrive"
At 80 on the parkway you do a intrument scan for abnormalities
You can report brakeing conditions

Approaching yellow lights, call out V1 and blow right through it. If pulled over, state you were past V1.

You have a check list for everything you do.
You know you get better performance off the line with your ac off so you call for packs off right before the light changes for best acceleration.
You account for wind speed and direction on the road.
You do a walk around prior to departure.
You have ever inadvertantly called for push before backing out of the driveway.
You have ever said traffic in sight when notified by someone of another vehicle.
You answer things and say rodge' or wilco

...you remember the marshalling signal for "fire in accesory section."
...you drive a huff to the other concourse to get lunch.
...you drive 20 mph in a pickup, but 40 in a beltloader.
...people keep asking you: who is roger?
...you call people and tell them you're in range.
...you use a radio more than a phone, and when you're on the phone you talk like you're on the radio anyway.
...hearing protection is part of your every day atire.
...you don't wear clothes, you have a uniform.
...you always tell time in zulu.
...something stupid is written on the back of your reflective vest.
...you spend half of your paycheck at work on food court food.
...you say straightback.


there are more, just can't think of them right now.

you try to contact ground control as soon as you leave your driveway

...you say niner.
...the best nap you've ever taking is sleeping on mail in the rear belly of a 737.
...you've drank glycol.
...you've got tan lines from gloves and glasses and have yet to go to the beach this summer.
...it's "operations" and not "the tower."
...the quickest way to get food while deicing is to rip off COA's catering trucks.

i got these off of a thread on anet a while back. about 90% of i've done.

…you’ve taken a nap in the belly hold of an aircraft.
…you’ve spent more time at the airport then at home
…you’ve done a wheelie on a tug
…your date asks why your car smells like jet fuel.
…the tower calls you up on a snowy day and asks if you have any porn to share
…the smell of jet fuel puts a smile on your face.
…you can't wait for the next aircraft pushback.
…you get to load and stack 10,000 pounds of mail in a B-727.
…the deeper the snow the better (AH YES glycol) I get to DEICE!!!
…can't wait to see what's left in the F/C galley.
…brew a pot of strong airline coffee @ 0200 on the graveyard shift.
…get to operate the LAV truck.
…sneak food and drinks out of the catering truck.
…hook up the airstart unit to a B-747.
…run interline baggage around the airport.
…work the bag room when it's pouring rain outside.
…try to remember what the three letter code is for Fresno.
…always tell the time in military.
…know the difference between port and starboard.
…remember the marshalling signal for engine fire.
…have to offload 300 bags to get one because the pax didn't show.
…get excited when you get to marshal the A/C to the gate.
…do the potable water service when it's -30 in January.
…when you can keep up with three rampers when you are @ the end of the beltloader in the belly.
…when the ear protection I wear becomes everyday apparel.
…when wearing knee pads doesn't mean something dirty.
…when waving to the crew in the cockpit after pushback doesn't mean you are strange.
…think that all the F/A's look great.
…can't wait to come to work the next day to do it all over again!
…asked a new FI why he had to fill up every time he took a student out on a 45 minute intro ride.
…you know the difference between a Dakota and a Cherokee. (still don’t)
…you went to your first college lecture after 36 hours at the airport.
...you were excited when a charter came in 'cause they had flight attendants!
…sent the new guy to find the belly stretcher or the prop wash.
…had a friend close u in the belly to see if you really can open it from the inside. (u can't no matter what the little sign says)
…had a meal from every restaurant on the airport.
…can identify the airplanes just by engine noise.
…can identify the airplane just by it’s landing lights.
…you live in your overalls.
…you hate sabre.
…you wish first gear in the pushback was faster.
…you spend half your paycheck in the airport on crap food.
...you break your id tags from throwing bags and owe the airline $200 for new ones.
…you love climbing in the nosegear to disconnect the towbar.
…got the tugs stuck in snow drifts.
…driven the fuel truck under the jetbridges to get to the next plane.
…all your work clothes are red from glycol.
…you have gone through 3 or more pairs of gloves due to taking them off while snapping up cargo nets.
…you love the apu exhaust "ramp heater.”
…you can't wait till summer so you don't have to drag out the pre. condt. air cart.
…you love waking up at 3:30am to go work the kick off flight.
…when you get to work in the morning you exclaim "I love the smell of jet exhaust in the morning, it's the smell of victory!"
…you've perfected the sport of luggage wrestling
…you're ear protection has made three round the world trips because you forgot them in the baggage pit of a 747 only to find them a week later when the a/c comes back
…you've dropped a bag of the first baggage cart your towing and then have the next three carts run over the bag
…you drive all the way across the airport only to realize that you forgot to hook up the baggage carts
...fragile means "Throw it harder."
...all your clothes smell like jet fuel (because it has seeped off in the wash).
...you know exactly where the bleed air vent under a 737-200 is located (especially in the middle of January!).
...you know that the most comfortable bed in the world is a well-stacked set of mail crates.
...you've slept overnight in the airport. (Only once when non-revving)
...you've ever squeezed into a baggage belt to clear a jam.
...you've ever been sent to get the aircraft key from MX.
...drag raced a bag tug or belt loader.
...you've ever been thrilled to see a "new" push tug that's over 30 years old.
...you can name all current baggage tug manufacturers (Harlan, Clark, International...).
...you've ever offloaded an aircraft tire without the help of a belt loader.
...you purposely drink deicing fluid just for the antidote. (For those of you that don't know, a little hard liquor is the recommended antidote for ingestion of deicing fluid. I'm not lying, it's written on the side of the tanks they come in.)
...you have timetables from six months ago down in the bottom of your workbag.
...you've peeled out on a tug.
...you've purposely messed around with the governor on a tug just to get it faster than Delta's tugs.
...if you've even driven a pushback over to another concourse to get lunch.
...if you know the door codes to other airlines' gates so you don't have to use the elevator.
...it takes you all shift to read the newspaper.
...you grab a quick lunch or snack out of the "Wheel Of Death" in the breakroom.
...some of your friends on the ramp get their lunch money by beating other rampers at cards between flights.
...you wish the crossword puzzle in the in-flight magazine was a little harder.
...you have more cans of coke in your pillbox than catering does.
...you have ridden the belt in the transfer point all the way around.
...your pants have as many holes as your rainsuit.
...you've ever had your picture taken with the luggage of a celebrity.
…you don't mind being called a ramp rat.

If you have dumped a garbage can on Matt at least once while he was coming up the stairs into the tower. (Work at LGA only)
You do not care about special schemes anymore or the newest ones are old news to you
You know what the 1-2-3 rule is (exclusive to NY airports)
You know the exact times that that disturbing voice of that overly cheery guy does his security announcements and you can recite it word for word.

If you take your car to an airport mechanic to replace you brakes.

Waiting to enter a Highway to follow a car moving right to left you point it out and maintain the visual.

"Red Impala, traffics a green Camry, 2 o clock, a quarter mile right to left out of 2,500 on the final"

"Got the Camry, Red Impala"

"Red Impala, maintain visual separation from that traffic, follow him him in, Cleared visual approach runway Route 1"

As he passes you pull out and follow him

----------

You gotta have 2 aviation people for this one

Holding short to enter a very straight road.

"US Air 1194, Runway Woodbourne Rd position and hold"

"Position and hold, US Air 1194"

"US Air, 1194, Winds 190 at 7, Runway Woodbourne Rd.. cleared for Takeoff"

"Woodbourne Rd, cleared for takeoff, US Air 1194"

*Flip landing lights and nose gear light switches. Push in Strobes/ Hazards

*Start to advance thrust / It feels cool if you have a gear shifter that looks like a throttle

"40 Knots......................."

"V1..............."

"Rotate........."

*Start to pull back on steering wheel and lean your body backwards

"V2................................"

"Positive Rate, Gear Up"

"Gear Up............"

"Heading Select................."

"LNAV Engaged"


It quite fun to do every few months

these are amazing haha

amazingly, with all the flying i've ever done i've yet to talk to others as if i were communicating with a controller.