Halloween Joke

A cabbie picks up a Nun. She gets into the cab, and notices that the VERY handsome cab driver won't stop staring at her.

She asks him why he is staring

He replies ? "I have a question to ask you but I don't want to offend you"

She answers, "My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive.

"Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me."

She responds,

"Well, let's see what we can do about that:

#1, you have to be single and #2, you must be Catholic."

The cab driver is very excited and says,

"Yes, I'm single and Catholic!

"OK" the nun says. "Pull into the next alley."

The nun fulfills his fantasy with a kiss that

would make a hooker blush.

But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.

"My dear child," said the nun, why are you crying?"

"Forgive me but I've sinned.

I lied and I must confess, I'm married and I'm Jewish."

The nun says,

"That's OK. My name is Kevin and I'm going to a Halloween Party."

Another one:

A bald man with a wooden leg gets invited to a

Halloween party. He doesn't know what costume to wear to hide his head and

his leg so he writes to a costume company to explain his problem.



A few days later he received a parcel with the

following note:



Dear Sir,

Please find enclosed a pirate's outfit The spotted

handkerchief will cover your bald head and, with your wooden leg, you will

be just right as a pirate.



Very truly yours,

Acme Costume Co.



The man thinks this is terrible because they have

emphasized his wooden leg and so he writes a letter of complaint. A week

goes by and he

receives another parcel and a note, which says:



Dear Sir,

Please find enclosed a monk's costume. The long robe

will cover your wooden leg and, with your bald head, you will really

look the part.



Very truly yours,

Acme Costume Co.



Now the man is really upset since they have gone from

emphasizing his wooden leg to emphasizing his bald head so again he writes

the company another nasty letter of complaint. The next day he gets a small

parcel and a note, which reads:



Dear Sir,

Please find enclosed a bottle of molasses and a bag of

crushed nuts. Pour the molasses over your bald head, pat on crushed nuts,

stick your wooden leg up your ass and go as a caramel apple.



Very truly yours,

Acme Costume Co