Quirks and Quotes From Coworkers

Every workplace has an entertaining collection of workers' personalities. Some of the funniest things I've ever heard or seen were because of something a coworker did or said....whether they were trying to be funny or not.

Sometimes you just have a coworker that just has some classics quotes. Not necessarily funny, but still entertaining, depending on the kind of person they are.

Share your stories. I guess I'll start with a yarn or two.

I recall working in sales at an internet company. Commissions were the name of the game, and I remember two coworkers got about two sentences into a squabble over who's customer was whose. They didn't get loud or show much anger at all, but they quickly became quiet, stood up, put on their jackets, and went to the elevator.

Five minutes later, they came back upstairs. One guy had a freshly swollen eye, and the other guy had a smirk of victory. Fighting is one thing, but these guys acting as those having a fistfight on the sidewalk was a professional meeting to figure out who got that check or not.

Classic.

You should work at a Private country club if you want stories. I have a few. We had some idiot in the locker room who would do the most stupidest stuff. He worked the late shift so he would get bored waiting for the last 3 or 4 people to come off the course and use the locker room so he he decided to see what would happen if he put shoe polish in a microwave. Needless to say the place went on fire and one of our members had to put it out, the smell could kill you. This same moron would get impatient waiting for members to finish playing and would just go home, as luck would have it one of our most high strung members got locked out and had a brick in his hand ready to break a window to get in so he could get his car keys out of his locker and go home. We had to drive to this kids house to get the keys. My favorite is when the occasional member would pass out in the lounge from drinking and we had to lock up the joint. One member got very belligerent when we tried to wake him and told us all to get laid or something. It was funny. Then we tried to decide if he could drive (which he couldn't) and another member who had walked in behind us said he was fine to drive. Needless to say we called his wife and she wasn't too happy about coming to get his drunk ass. Funny how the next day they can't remember anything.

I dropped a radio into the top of the tank on a jet refueler on accident while up on top checking the fuel level visually at the FBO in Sarasota when I worked for them a couple of years ago. I had to fish it out with a massive pole that had a jerry rigged net on it. Or there was one guy who got fired for taking a Maserati (I think that is how you spell it) out onto taxiway Alpha after the tower closed at SRQ for a spin and Airport Operations nailed him. And than there was the brain surgons who decided to take 3180 pour it on the floor in the bag room at SRQ and they would reverse into it and than slam the shifter into drive and spin the tires up. Well after round three of trials the tires caught and they took out the bag belt for Northwest. I have quite a few. Maybe it is the sun down there

hahaha here's a quick one...may not be too funny.
i was asking what everyone in my office wanted for lunch, but this guy Steve wanted something healthy so in the email i wrote "do you want lunch?? something healthy though" to a group of people, and this wise guy Marty e-mailed me back saying "Pork and beans for everyone" i read that as i was on the phone and could'nt help but crack up. lol.