Japan's 'second virgins' are camels in a dry spell

Japan's 'second virgins' are camels in a dry spell

Japan is faced with a crisis as growing numbers of mostly 30-something guys go through what Spa! (3/21) calls a "second virginity," where they have not had sex for at least half a year.

But instead of champing at the bit, the magazine notes that most of these "second virgins" are perfectly content to remain inactive.

Take Koki Yamada. This just-turned 40-year-old leads a successful life as a writer on Japan's busy entertainment beat. Successful that is, except for one thing - he's a "second virgin" and has been for 2 1/2 years. Not that he's worried.

"It's just a pain building up friendships with people nowadays. I've got my own little world and I don't like anybody else invading it. I've always been a bit of an introvert," he tells Spa!, adding that his ideal partner would be a younger woman who doesn't give any grief and goes to her own home if she's got no business on in his. "(Relationships) gradually become more and more of a nuisance. I want to live life at the pace I want to live it. Going out with somebody means you've got certain responsibilities and duties to fulfill. Having somebody else around is just a frustration."

Masahiro Saito, a 31-year-old logistics employee, says he avoids women because he doesn't want to get hurt, admitting that his last girlfriend dumped him -- a decade ago -- because he was too clingy. He has remained a barren bonking, "second virgin" ever since.

"I don't really ever know what girls are thinking," he says. "I always want a girlfriend, but it's a bother collecting their phone numbers and mail addresses and taking them out on dates and stuff. I do go to matchmaking parties, but I've never once asked a girl I met there for her number."

Kosuke Aoyama is a "second virgin" with a difference -- he has a steady girlfriend he meets regularly, they just don't make out. He's simply become bored.

"I had this really strong sense of obligation that I had to make sure I satisfied my partner and that made me feel totally awful. Sex itself is just an annoyance," Aoyama tells Spa! "My current girlfriend isn't that keen on sex, anyway. (Mind you, the first year we were seeing each other, we were at it three times a week.) We're just good buddies without any sex and we spend every weekend together." (By Ryann Connell)

March 21, 2006